Football Manager Diary – Crouchtober 2013

Football Manager 2014 LogoSo we left our last installment with the club standing 12th in the league. Shut the season down now, I’ll take that for the end of the season.

Tactically Ive struggled, tho the late acquisition of Peter Crouch has changed a few tactics, and we’ve started to pick up a few results.

This month sees the following fixtures

42 Fix

All three teams are above us in the league, so I’ll be looking to get a win from the Newcastle match simply because its at home, and home for a draw from one of the other two.

5th September 2013 – Aston Villa (7th) vs West Ham (12th)
Odds – Villa: 4-6 (fav) – Draw: 9-4 – West Ham 7-2

We’re missing Cole and Noble. Villa are playing Zaha, who chose them over us on loan. Cunt.


I decide to play a 4321 with Jarvis coming in on the left wing, and Paodin getting a start in CM.

We struggle with possession but are the only team to create early chances, with Crouch heading at the keeper from a Rat corner. At the other end Benteke shoots straight at the keeper, before Tomkins heads over from another corner for us. Both teams are only really threatening from range, but Jarvis comes closest as Guzan makes a great save.

At half time its 56-44 posession in Villas favour, but we’re on top in chances 7-3.

Villa come out stronger in the second half, Abonglahor should score after Benteke puts him in but he shoots wide. With half an hour go Diame gets injured which gives me a chance to make some changes

Benayoun comes on for Diame and moves up into an AM position, while Crouchy comes off for Petric. The half is all Villa though, with them peppering shots in from range but no real threat. Petric does put the ball in the net, but he’s offside. It ends with a draw.

Suck it Wilfred Zaha

43 Villa

Villa 0-0 West Ham
League Position – 12th

Cant complain too much. Very positive in 1st half, but everything went downhill in the 2nd. There just isnt too many options on the bench.

If only he was fit. Andy, are you fit???

44 andy

Andy 🙁

Have a quick switch of some things in the formation and end up with this

45 Formation

Hoping to get a more direct style to get the ball to Crouchy.

19th October 2013 – West Ham (12th) vs Chelsea (3rd)
Odds – West Ham: 11-5 – Draw: 11-5 – Chelsea: Evens (fav)

Heres the lineups

46 Chelsea

Jesus they bought Puyol for 2.3 mill. Crouch may have a hard time winning a header against him and Terry

Puyol makes a header from an early corner, but Sommer saves, Eto gets the rebound but Rat clears off the line. Tomkins then gets in a great tackle from Lampard. Willian heads over as West Ham dominate. I tell the lads to play shorter and keep the ball, as we’re struggling with possession.

At the half we’re down 2-10 on shots and 36-64 on possession.

It takes just 3 minutes for Chelsea to get the break through tho, a throw gets headed to Mata who fires home. 1-0 Chelsea

With Chelsea in front we start to get back in the game. Crouch fires wide from range, then Rat fires a free kick at the keeper. Crouchy then heads over from a Jarvis cross.

Couple of changes with 17 minutes left. Cole on for Collison, and Yossi on for Morisson and Park on for Jarvis. Was tempted to bring a second striker on but the formation is going ok.

Lampard hits a shot wide, and with 2 mins left I switch to all out attack. We have all the play but no real shots.

West Ham 0-1 Chelsea
Mata (48)
League Position – 15th


26th October 2013 – West Ham (15th) vs Newcastle (3rd)
Odds – West Ham: 6-4 (fav) – Draw: 2-1 – Newcastle: 13-8

No clue why we are favourites, Newcastle are on great form in the Prem. Bastards

48 Newcastle

Collison gets injured in the third minute, I don’t have a real CM on the bench so decide fuck it take a risk rather than play someone out of position,  put on Morrison and play him behind the strikers.

Morrison ges the first early shot, wide from range. Ben arfa then skips past the defence but shoots over. Coloccini then picks up 2 ridiculous bookings for tackles in midfield and gets sent off!

I switch to attacking. Krul tips a Rat cross round the post then Tomkins heads over from the corner. Ben Arfa is still causing problems, getting inside far too often. Crouchy trys to cause some at the other end, heading wide from a Cole cross. Some neat play then with us popping round the ball ends with Rat geetting the ball and firing home! 1-0 to the Hammers. Morrisons running things in midfield, he puts through Benayoun on the wing but his cross goes to Crouch who shoots as Morrison steps in front of him. Idiot.

Joe Cole then gets the ball, passes to Benayoun and he passes to Crouchy who….

Peter Crouch Robot Dance

2-0 Hammers.

Just before half time Benayoun gets the ball, plays in Crouchy, who steps past 2 defenders and then chips the keeper….

and hits the bar!!!

At half time Im obviously delighted.

Remy gets an early chance, seizing ony a long ball but shooting wide. Ben Arfa then skips past 3 players and Reid slides in…. missing the ball completely. Pen.

Remy Scores.

Fucking gonna be one of those isnt it.

Then all of a sudden Remy plays a ridiculous back pass, and sneaking around in an offside position to steal it and put the ball in theres

Peter Crouch Robot Dance

BOOM 3-1

With half an hour left I bring off Cole and Benayoun for Park and Jarvis. Morrison puts in Jarvis and he shoots wide as we start to dominate. Jarvis then skips past his defender and puts a cross in that Morrison heads and Krul makes a wonder save. I decide to see the game out, switch to a Control tactic and see the game out.

49 stats

West Ham 3-1 Newcastle
Rat (32), Crouch (39, 57) – Coloccini sent off (21), Remy (pen 55)
League Position – 14th

50 Crouchy

Player of the month comes in, and its a close run thing for Tomkins. Defence has been pretty good given the games we’ve had.


Board review comes in and its OK. That capital one cup loss is still on their mind tho, what about the great Newcastle win ya cunts.

52 Board


Heres the fixtures for the next installment, which I’m naming “Think we are gonna get 12 points end up with 3”

53 Fix