Football Manager Diary – Season 2 – August – Who The Fuck is Andy Carroll?
We’ve told the board we’ll qualify for the Europa league so its key that given the fixtures we get off to a good start
August fixtures look like this
16th August 2014 – West Ham vs Norwich
Odds – West Ham: 5-4 (fav) – Draw: 11-5 – Norwich: 7-4
Past results – Won our two meetings with them. A perfect easy start
Norwich get the first highlight, with Fers shot being pushed round the post by Sommer, from the corner they take the lead as 4 players surround the keeper and Turner heads in. 5 minutes later its 2-0 to them with good wok from Fer threading in Hooper to score. At half time we’ve had 6 shots to their 5, but not a single highlight.
god I hate this fucking game
At half time I go crazy with the lads, and Carroll whos got a light injury looks fired up. Because of this I decide to leave him on
A minute in the half Andy shows how fired up he is, as Bradley plays in Carroll and he smashes past the keeper. Just 5 minutes after that though its 3-1 with Chester heading in another goal.
We’re playing well though, and good work from Zaha and Coleman sees the latter get free on the right and cross for Crouchy to power a header in.
With 10 minutes left I make some changes, Ledley Morrison and Juanmi on for Schneiderlin, Zaha and Carroll, but its to no avail
West Ham 2-3 Norwich
Carroll (46), Crouch (67) – Turner (22) Hooper (36), Chester (52)
League position – 15th
Match Thoughts – Pretty happy surprisingly. We actually dominated vast periods, but in the last third Norwich started to retain posession. I think the lots of signings is the kind of bad thing that effected the result so I cant see me playing all 6 next match. Carroll picked up man of the match and if he hadnt picked up a light injury in the 1st half we could have come off a lot better with him still winning MOTM. We gave up two goals from corners but it looked like good heads as opposed to needing to change things.
Stephen Fletcher signed for Hull from Swansea, and scored his first goal in over 18hours of football. No wonder Sunderland went down.
23rd August 2014 – Leicester (5th) vs West Ham (13th)
Odds: Leicester 13-8 – Draw 2-1 – West Ham 6-4 (fav)
Past results – never played
1 change, Downing in for Chaldi. I thought about bring in some CM’s or O’Brien at right back but I really want those guys to succeed.
It was corners that did us in last match but this match its a corner that puts us in front – a near post ball is headed on by Crouchy and Carroll gets on the end of it. 5 minutes later tho its another corner for the equaliser, Moore heading to Boyd to score. In injury time Leicester break and Camara scores when he is played in by Nugent and they steal a lead 2-1
Carroll gets brought down in the box just after half time, and he steps up and oh em gee from the penalty Carroll passes the ball oh so sweetly in. Cool pen.
I bring Morrisson and Vydra on for Zaha and Crouch, then Jones on for Downing as I switch formations, Vydra gets a chance but misses, then in the 91st minute Carroll gets the ball, skips past a challenge and plays in Vydra, he takes it down the wing, cuts inside Konchesky who brings him down and its another pen
Carroll to take
He runs forward
AND SMASHES IT HOME THANK FUCK
I LOVE THIS FUCKING GAME
Leicester 2-3 West Ham
Boyd (36) Camara (45+2) – Carroll (30, pen 51, pen 91)
League Position – 11th
Match Thoughts – Again a good performance, the penaltys did get us out of jail but the shots and possession has creeped up from last year. Carrolls won MOTM in both games thus far.
Antonelli asks for a transfer. Cant blame him, I signed him to give Rat some competition and Rat ended up being in team of the year and voted our best player. I agree to let him go
No suprise to see Carroll make TOTW
26th August 2014 – West Ham vs Yeovil – Capital One Cup
Odds: West Ham 1-3 (fav) – Draw 3-1 – Yeovil 7-1
Past results – Weirdly we faced them in the same round last year, won 1-0
We pass about for a while, with Vydra getting a few early chances, then after 5 minutes take the lead when Juanmi fires in a low Morrison cross. Seman puts Juanmi in again, but he hits his shot wide. Its all West Ham, with Vydra spurning yet another good chance. Rat hits the bar from a free kick as its all West Ham. Seman has a shot saved. Yeovil hit the bar with a cross from their first highlight, then Morrison hits the bar at the other end, someone tries to clear and kicks it at their keeper, its about to cross the line but another defender gets back and clears…. against their keeper again and its in. Weird goal.
In the second half we get hit on a break and Madden gets on a great cross to score.
With 64 mins on the clock I bring in the changes – Noble, Bradley and Juanmi off for Ledley Crouch and Schneiderlin
5 minutes later its 3-1, Seman passing the ball in on the end of a near post corner. Delighted for him, thats my two young guys scoring – its a pity Vydra is spurning his chances.
Schneiderlin hits the bar as we pressure, but the game gets played out.
West Ham 3-1 Yeovil
Juanmi (6) Stech own goal (45) Seman (69) – Madden (58)
Match thoughts – thats more like it! I think we hit the bar 3 times in that match too. I might have to give the wingbacks formation a go.
Antonelli signs for Southampton for 800k. Its a profit
Next up its a grudge match. In the last two times we have played Hull theyve made me mad as hell. Steve Bruce has got under my skin, and I’m purposely avoiding any questions from the media pre match to make sure he has no advantage. The one thing I do do is spend a tense 30 seconds making a photoshop of Steve Bruce with a potato for a head and send it to him by email
30th August 2014 – West Ham (11th) vs Hull (13th)
Odds – West Ham: 5-4 (fav) – Draw: 11-5 – Hull: 7-4
Past Meetings – We lost and drew to hem last season, they were somewhat of a bogey team.
Carroll gets an early chance to get his 5th in 3 games, but the keeper tips it round the post. Schneiderlin has a long range shot punched away and Hangeland then heads at the keeper from a corner as its all West Ham. we’ve had 18 shots at half time.
With 60 mins on the clock its time for changes, Derik and Crouch off for Reid and Vydra. Its all West Ham, so of course, Hull take the lead on 75 minutes with a break, Fletchers 1 v 1 and scores.
Ledley on for Bradley and its all out attack.
With 6 minutes left we get an equaliser, and its my boy Carroll getting his fifth of the season. Come on the lads. In the dying seconds Hull are breaking, Ledley gets the ball and plays in Rat who one twos with Chadli to get down the wing. Rat gets tackled and the ball falls to Chadli who cuts inside and hits a right footed shot that looks more like a high cross, Zaha gets on the end of it and heads it across goal and OMG HERES ANDY dejevnkefoknenkweklnwkl;nwsc
TAKE THAT YOU POTATO HEADED CUNT
West Ham 2-1 Hull
Carroll (84, 90) – Fletcher (75)
League Position – 5th
Match thoughts – Look at those stats, we shoulda scored 4 or 5. I fucking love Andy.
We get drawn against Sheff United in the cup.
Perhaps my most boring ever in a FM game. We couldnt do anything even if I wanted to because of this
The big moves I can see are
Pastore PSG -> Man United 32.5million
Benteke Villa -> Chelsea 29.5 million
Alba Barca -> Man United 24.5 million
Among the others, City signed Ramsey and Shakiri. Chelsea shipped out Lukaku (Juve) De Bruyne and Azpilicueta (Dortmund), and Arsenal replace Ramsey with Joe Allen (lol)
The board are happy with 1 exception
And Andy? He da man