So screw you Heroes

I love watching American TV shows, especially as I can watch them at a more leisurely pace. I can chill and watch them on the computer, on the TV when bored, or stream them on the laptop in bed.

When I start watching something, I’ll often carrying on watching it till the end. Usually this is a good thing, 7 seasons of the Shield being a great example. Ive also just started watching the Wire, and although it started a little slower than I expected I’m looking forward to cruising through that. I did have Dollhouse to watch, but just deleted that upon finding out the show was cancelled. Sopranos is ready to watch, and I also got my hands on a load of Louis Theroux episodes to rewatch.

However in some cases you just get sick of a show. Take Prison Break, I loved season 1, it was cheesy as hell but pretty epic. Season 2 was fun as well, I possibly even liked this a little more than 1. Season 3 it went massively downhill, I never got into the corruption storyline, and it felt like a slog to watch. When the writers strike caused the show to stop I just stopped watching. Ive read up on what happens in the last few episodes and I’m not sure any of it makes sense.

So that brings me to Heroes. I loved this show at the start, a cheesy romp with super heroes. I love anything with a bit of cheese to it, like the early Prison Break, or Lost. Then slowly it seemed certain characters were a little overpowered. Peter could take anyones power by touch. Sylar can take anyones power that he kills. Hiro can go back and forward in time and change the past or future. I was willing to let this go though, because the show was fun.

But too many times a storyline has been dropped. What the hell happened to Peters girlfriend who was the love of his life who got trapped in the future? They changed the past so that future doesnt happen, does she just cease to exist? Why doesnt Hiro just go back and stop Mohinder from going to the carnival and letting it slip to ? Oh yeah, thats it, Hiros power has been gimped by giving him a disease that means he cant fully control his power, but wait, in tonights episode he went back in time too short a distance, so went back a furthur 10 minutes, stopped time to get a kevlar vest, then stopped time to put Mohinder in a mental hospital (which also makes no sense).

Seriously Heroes, I’m starting to not enjoy watching you. And being 6 episodes into season 1 of the Wire, with Sopranos also ready to watch this is not a good thing for you.

(but please be good, I want to love you)

PS. Flash Forward you need to buck up too, I liked the premise but youve gone downhill.

And Alan Partridge has a ton of them.

Partridge is a classic TV show character. He’s a socially useless idiot who lucked into a bit of fame, which he then lost and struggled to get back.

He was created by Steve Coogan for a radio show “On the Hour” where he was the sports reporter, despite knowing nothing about sport. Shortly after he got his own radio show, “Knowing Me, Knowing You, with Alan Partridge”, a spoof chat show which featured him taking coke, hit a child, lose his wifes car in a bet, and one of his guests having a heart attack. Partridge then made the transition to TV again as a sports reporter, this time for The Day Today

With Alan proving a success on TV, it was decided to bring his chat show to TV too. Knowing Me, Knowing You.

In the sixth episode Partridge accidently shot one of his guests, and the show went off the air with him being arrested.

Despite this Partridge came back for a xmas special, “Knowing Me, Knowing Yule” where he plugged various products and made several failed attempted to get a BBC Executive to give him a second series, before punching him in the face. Twice.

Partridge did end up coming back to TV, in “I’m Alan Partridge”, a kind of documentary type sitcom about the man. Alans life is at its lowest, hosting a late night radio show on BBC Radio Norwich, left by his wife, and living in a travel tavern.

He tries to get back his chat show by meeting with a BBC commisioning blokey

And fails. Smell my cheese you mother. So he’s stuck with his shitty radio show

And trying to make friends by dressing as a zombie

And chatting about music

The only friend he really makes is the Geordie repair man, Michael.

Which leads to him creating a new drink

In the final episode of the 1st series, Tony Hayres dies, and is replaced by one of Alans old buddies. He offers Alan a second series, but as he’s about to sign Alan up to it he suffers a heart attack. Alan tries forging the signature.

The second series of I’m Alan Partridge saw him out of the hotel and into a static caravan next to his new home, named “Lord House”. We learn that Alan took the loss of his TV show badly, and had suffered drastically with his weight.

Despite this he’s managed to get a new slot on the radio and written a book about him “Bouncing Back” (even though all the evidence points to him not bouncing back at all)

He also gets fustrated when people “keep getting Bond wrong”!

After the second series, he made only a few other appearences on ~TV, my favourite being this interview with the now much older Milky Bar Kid (played by Simon Pegg)

Epicly quotable, with some classic comedy scenes, Partridge is a true legend and one of my top TV show characters. Go check it out, theres like a million more scenes I could have put in here.

Vic Mackey.

If youve never watched the Shield then dont just sit there, go now and buy series 1-7 of it right now by clicking this link.

Got it? Watch it.

I’m right arent I? Vic is awesome.

Caution : The rest of this article may include spoilers.

As much as I love The Shield I know that some of you may not have gone and bought the show and watched and loved it like I did.

The Shield was a show about an anti drug unit set up in an LA police department. It wasn’t afraid to show cops as corrrupt, or using violence to bring criminals to justice, or indeed helping those criminals. The new drug unit was known as the “Strike Team”, and they were led by the aforementioned Vic Mackey. As well as the Strike Team the show also explored other members of the force, the local drug dealers, politicians, but its main focus and main star was Mr Mackey.

The Shield is without question my favourite TV show ever, and was full of some great characters, but Vic was always the one that shined above them from the very first episode where he shoots a fellow cop who was about to expose his corrupt ways.

It should be noted that although Vic is a completely corrupt bastard through the show, he’s also a really awesome cop who always gets his man

Yes, he tackled him through a fucking fence.

And when he’s not tackling people througha fence? He’s fucking up drug dealers faces

Or smacking down hookers who wont do what they’re told

Or using ingenious ways to get evidence from suspects

Or “creating diversions” during police shoot outs

Vic gets his comeuppance in the show, and its fucking awesome. In the final season with his relationship with Shane ruined, and his whole corrupt past about to be exposed then Vic makes a deal with ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) to get himself immunity in return for helping capture a big drug cartel leader.  He desperately tries to get immunity for his Strike Team partner Ronnie, but as time runs out he has to take the deal just for himself, selling Ronnie up the river in order to try and save his wife who he’s worried may be arrested. Little did he know that his wife had allready sold him out and was trying to seal a case on him for some other cops. As part of the deal he has to confess to all the crimes he may have commited. What followed was one of the most tension filled gripping moments in TV

“Do you have any idea what youve done to me”

“Ive done worse”

Superb acting by Michael Chiklis there. Its amazing seeing this mans whole world crumble around him, and ICE suddenly realise what kind of man they are dealing with here. You also get Dutch and Claudette bursting in, realising they are just too late to nail Vic.

The bust goes down as planned, but straight after Ronnie is arrested, and Vic loses his only friend due to stabbing him in the back. He then finds out his wife has left him, with their kids, into a witness protection programme. Vic has full immunity, but his new employers arent going to let him get away with all his crimes and cage the beast, the man at home on the streets by giving him a job in a small dank office.

Does he go off to kill himself? Can he take life in a office? He has no friends, no family, no aquaintances to help bail him out, no power over the criminals he used to be able to threaten with his badge.  This is Vic Mackeys living hell. And the end of the greatest cop ever.

Rach was at home and usually this means some heavy Xboxing, but I had a few chores to do so ended up watching a lot of shows while cleaning, then watched some more when chilling.

Dexter – Eh, caught up with the first few episodes and while the 1st was exciting its gone a bit boring since. Inevitable confrontation of Dexter vs John Lithgow doesnt excite me.

Flash Forward – Its getting compared to Lost by a lot of people and I can see why. Lots of questions and not too many answers, but just enough to hook you in. It seems retarded to me though that theres 1 person who saw their future as effected by the blackout yet everyone elses doesnt seem to be – if it was me I’d be six months in the future counting down to it.

Adventureland – Decided to stick a movie on and chose this, and damn it was boring. Angsty teen comedy with a Michael Cera clone. BORING. Switched it off after 40 minutes and read what happens on wikipedia, sounds like I made a good decision.

Bear Grylls – I love this kind of rubbish. So obviously staged at times, but the mans awesome

The Office – Jim and Pams wedding made me cry. Im such a poof

How I Met Your Mother – Such an awesome show. Started watching this with Rach on the reccomendation of Scotsman. At first Rach didnt like it, we watched a few together and she found it boring so I started watching on on my own, then she got back into it and loves it again. We’re just starting season 4 and should be caught up in no time. Its Legen… wait for it…. DARY.

Thinking of writing some stuff on my fave TV show characters, but Im so busy lately

How the fuck did he do that?

The show began with Brown looking nervous, after a brief intro we were shown only 3 people present, 2 camera men and Derren. One camera man near him, one at the other end of the room. We were repeatedly advised that this was the culmination of a year of Browns work, that he apologised if it went wrong, and that he was incredibally nervous. There was a stand with balls on in one side of the shot, and a TV in the other side. We couldnt be shown the balls yet as “Camelot had an agreement with the BBC for them to show the draw numbers first.”

Uh, ok, but draw numbers arent the same as your prediction?

Derren then turned on a TV that showed the draw happening live. He went and stood next to the TV, while the balls were stood on their own. Sad as I am, I had set up 2 tvs in my living room so I could watch both shows live. Derren looked increasingly nervous, the draw began and he stood with his hand over his mouth.

I kept watching the balls, you could see the camera shake a fair amount, which I guess was to throw off the idea that they would split screen this part.

Once the draw was done, Derren wrote the numbers on a piece of card, turned the balls round and….

Boom.

So how did he do it?

He didnt have time or opportunity to slight of hand swap the balls. Thats out.

Split screen is a possibility, and would explain why we had the mysterious camera at the other end of the room with a wider shot, which wasnt used again after being introduced. This would be a disappointing trick though.

Lasers in the ceiling burning the balls with the numbers mid draw is one of my favourite ideas, but ultimately only an evil genius like Dr Evil would go with this.

Mini LED projectors inside the ball is another thing Ive heard suggested, which I guess is a distinct possibility. Though is that really that magic?

My prediction? Derren Brown is a witch and must be burned at the stake (after sharing next week numbers with me thanks)

Edit : Now with video!